Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Singapore tamed me.

I'm stuck in Singapore.

My aunt wouldn't allow me to go home.

Not until I finished applying for universities. These few days had been quite miserable. I've been to the British Council twice, IDP Australia twice, New Zealand High Comm, US Education centre, NUS twice and they're all scattered around Singapore. Luckily the transportation here performs miracle or something like that. Now, I got a bunch of information , which I need to summarize but it all leads to one main decision : What I'm going to pursue in?! Most likely Biomedical Science or Medicine and another main problem arises. The closing date for application for Medicine was 15 October. I feel so .... URgHh! And the deadline for most of the applications is 15 January 2005. So much for more time and procrastinating!! And you know what's worse?

..... I need a reference letter from one of my lecturers and most of them are on holiday. I REALLY HATE last minute work. Hey, I shouldn't blame myself much because I didn't know that the UCAS application form is available from September onwards. I BLAME my stupid college for failing to inform the students or at least paste a blady notice about UCAS application form. Btw, UCAS application form is a form to apply for UK universities. Those who plan to go to UK next year, wake up and get your form now!! or am I the only fool who believes that finishing exam first is more important!!?...

I have about 20 universities from UK to choose and the form only allows 6 application from either 6 different universities or 6 different courses or whatever my combination is, I can only fill in six places. One chance per year. What if no universities want to accept me?? ARRRgggh... That's why I also applied for Australia, NUS and New Zealand. I also need to write a pesonal statement about myself, my achievements, my career plan, my reasons for choosing the courses, for choosing UK and etc. In another word, I have to 'bodek' them and praise them to prove the proficiency of my English. I feel as though I'm one of the people, once mentioned by my BM teacher from secondary school, who wrote, "Encik/Puan, kesiankan larh saya ye? Bagi markah tinggi tinggi sikit. Saya ada keluarga yang ada harapan tinggi kat saya. Terima kasih ye? Budimu akan saya balas pada hayat akan datang" SHISH!

I wanna do medicine!!! WHoa. That's really different from pharmacy and law. Hahaaha.. maybe next time I might proclaimed that I wanna do veterinary instead. Hey, not a bad idea since i have One water tortoise, Two star tortoises, previously owned 2 guinea pigs, One iguana, One rabbit, Aunt's dog, Grandma's dog, released 2 tortoises and my animal-like friends. I'm a leech myself. But I figure that vetenarians are actually better than doctors because doctors only concentrate on one species whereas vetenarians have to look after all the animals in the animal kingdom, which includes reptiles, amphibians, mammals, fishes, birds and insects. Wow. That's quite a lot of stuff to read but wait a minute. Sorry to say but animal life is not as precious as human life. So, if a vetenarian 'accidently' killed an animal/pet, no one is to be blame unlike doctors.

Ok Ok back to medicine. It's not a spur of mind idea. I've always harbour the dream of being a doctor, thanks or no thanks to the fictional tv programmes from the West (ER) and from the East particularly, Hong Kong TVB dramas but I dont have the confidence to pursue it and people always tend to criticised the profession, kick my self-esteem to a very low level and it made me question my own abilities. I believe if I want it, I can really do it. But.. my results aint good enough. Competition is very high. Moreover, is darn expensive but if I plan to do science programme, might as well do medicine right? So biomedical science is about lab stuff, researching, more lab stuff, lab, lab, lab, bla bla bla. You get the picture right? This course can take me to medicine but longer years. I'm definitely sure that I wont enjoy much doing lab work and stuff. Can you imagine me confine in a rotten lab, torturing rotten rodents and creating a new virus lets say, sister of antrax or SARS?? It's possible if I'm a GENIUS, which I'm not. I am very worried. Yes. Worried. Even at this point I'm contradicting with myself. Oh, why can't I just be a globe trekker or open my own bakery /cookie shop? Yah rite. And get murdered from my relatives especially my mum and be branded as unfilial, irresponsible and create a whole Bollywood scene with thunder and rain. Or is it being branded first then, murdered. Well actually, I also want the cash/money *smilling rather sheepishly*

So here I am, stuck in the land known as shopping paradise but doing nothin like that. The only comfort I have here is the food. I'm not talking about the local food but rather the western food, japanese food, italian food, cookies (Can you believe that there's actually a cookie shop in Takashimaya, selling only cookies?!!), doughnuts, ice-cream (the gelato kind really taste great!) etc, which made me regret later about eating so much yet, I repeat the process after sulking for let's say ...10 seconds. And one more thing, the guys here are *drooling* and the chicks here are *jaw dropped*.

I really miss home! I miss my TV! I miss my TV shows! I miss my family! I miss my bed! I miss my friends! Speaking of friends, to all my genting trip mates, I'm SO SORRY I FFK you people. Or in meikuan words, "kencing" but I really wanna go. Desperately but my aunt have the authority here and those who know my aunt should know that she's quite strict if she wants to. Actually I dont mind staying down here but I really wanna go out with you guys and I long to go shopping!! BoOhOoOoo~ And the TV shows here are good to a certain extent but my aunt did not subscribe cable channels. The horroR! I have to stuck with only 7 channels and the other 2 are pretty much defunct. Not to mention, the chinese dramas are in mandarin. I miss cantonese!! One good thing about the chinese dramas is the subtitles are in english. Hhaaha. I do sound as though I'm kinda tortured here rite? COS i AM! Lonely.. I feel lonely, lone lone lone lone ly!... Heck, I actually miss my two pesky brothers too!... I'm pretty much a saint these few days. I'm not suprise if I'm going to get a halo soon. No partying, lepaking, shopping, mamak-ing, tv. ARRGGHHhh uRGGGGhhh! Yet deep down inside me, I know it's for my own good cos, without my aunt and uncles guidances, I'm pretty much still slacking in Malaysia, expecting an offer letter to drop from the sky. I'm just not use to so much pressure and hardwork. X) I think my tortoises play an important role in influencing me doing things slow and steady. To top up with that is my tidak-apa attitude, things wont be done without pressure and scolding. Bottomline, Thanks ah yee and ah kus!

Now, I really hope that:

  1. I can manage to contact my Calculus lecturer, Ms Foo who really knows me quite well. She can just read through me. She said I am a last minute person and if I really wanna do something, I can really do it. She also said that I should have choose A Levels instead of ICPU. I do have my regrets. Anyway, she must have made her conclusions about me after marking my final calculus paper, which I think I did quite well. (:
  2. Pray hard that all the stuff can be done as soon as possible. I wanna go home.
  3. My genting mates are not angry with me. I'll pay for the room k?? *kowtow-ing*
  4. My aunt will release me from her iron fists soon.
  5. Her idiotic dog don't smell that terrible. Phew!
  6. I'm accepted to any Universities!
  7. Meet a dream guy. HAHha.. oPSS. Out Out!!

Shit. I think I gained a few pounds! It's possible. I'm suffering from a mild depression and all i have for companion is a dumb dog, a collection of my aunt's harlequin mills & boons, a laptop and food.

P.S: I gave up on my doddle board. "IF YOU WANNA STAY DOWN THERE, IT'S FINE WITH ME!!!!"


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