The sick pacat

This whole week has been a rollercoaster ride (cliche but true) for my body. No kidding.

Having low grade fever with chills and rigor. No fun.
Nauseated, vigorously shaking the cup, couldnt finish the wonderful lasagna in front of me. No fun at all.
Troubling people (Leeks n K) to send me to clinic. boohoo
The doctor in clinic didnt even examine me. hmm. and only treated me for my nausea. (antacids, omeprazole and charcoal pills given). Furthermore, she looked at me with disbelief. As though I omitted some important symptoms from her, just for fun. Yes, my symptoms were very vague: fever, chills, rigor, headache, started within 2 hours, nausea, no URTI.

On the way back from the clinic, I vomited at a random drain near the college. hahah. Funny part was, when I thought I was okay, I saw a pile of dog poop on the grass, and ran back to the drain to vomit. hahahaha

FInal diagnosis: no diagnosis. ruled out H1N1 tho. hehe. I havent been overseas, no contact with ppl with H1N1 k, no flu n cough either. *sorry to disappoint loads of ppl who wanna skip class*

The nite was bad. I was sweating madly. I felt all the heat in Sahara accumulated at the neck and face but at the same time was shivering. A/C was at 22 degrees. I'm usually not a whinny person when I am sick as long I am allowed to sleep but having my sleep being disturbed like that, made me absolutely cranky. I was only able to sleep at 3-4 am when the core temperature has decreased.

Woke up bout 10.30am, wanted to attend lectures but well, was not in a good condition for the earlier classes. Managed to go for the 11.30am class. I did not skip class for fun k. Valid reasons. hehe

Afternoon was good. Ate porridge for brunch and went for a movie ( night at the museum 2 was hilarious. guess who laugh the loudest? haha i think that's more like a rhetorical question rite?.>> me me *wave hands*) plus had teatime. *the happier times. the feeling of being able to enjoy after a night of hell is pure bliss k*

Should have known that that was the calm sea before the storm.. -___-"

Then hell started again. Felt feverish bout 7pm. Went out for dinner but couldn't finish my food again. Whole body weakness, but no fever. Wanted to do some studies for my short case end posting the next day (Wednesday) because Dr.NKS was coming in and he is more lenient plus I did badly for long case when Dr.Gauri came in. Sadly, as man propose, God dispose. I read only 2 pages in Leekie's house and couldn't take it anymore. Slept on her bed while she, Alicia and Sashi were thinking, in their respective abode bout my diagnosis.
Finally, Sashi thought of possible allergic reaction to my HPV vaccine and with that in mind, Leek's brought me to another panel clinic in the town at about 11pm. The doctor there was more professional. Upon seeing him itself, I felt better. Hehe. His manner of conduct and confidence shows his expertise, kinda remind me of the time when I visited the clinic during the younger days, I automatically felt better. My mum always teased me, saying, what a waste of medication money, should have just paid for the consultation fees. :)
Back to story proper, my temperature was 39.1 degrees (high grade) with myalgia (body weakness) but again no rash, URTI, UTI etc. He sent my blood for full blood count but only can get the report the next day. Apparently, if he calls means it's bad news and I have to be admitted for most probably dengue but if there's no call, means it's good news. He sent me home with paracetamols, metoclopramide and my MC slip.

Had to ask Leek's to messaged Alvin, the groupleader to postpone my short case to another possible day.

The night was not as bad as the first night but fever was there. Slept to 10am the next day. Groupmates called at 12 something, to asked me how am I? and asked to be included in the list of possible contacts if I do have H1N1. -____-!!!

Seriously I thought I was feeling better, no feverish, ate only porridge thanks to Leeks *mwah* and was in the room the bloody whole day! So, the thought of Japanese food was so tempting plus it was a friend, Beh's birthday. He treated for dinner, so kinda shy if we didnt attend the after party, which I sat and move minimally k. *angel's halo, big wet puppy eyes*

I did attend class the next day with a pulling sensaton on the periorbital areas radiating to the frontal area. The heat in Muar did not help at ALL. By afternoon, my headache had worsen plus we had 3 short cases plus 2 long cases to finish. All this time I was taking paracetamol like sweets i tell you!

As soon as I reached my room, I bathed, ate a slice of bread, swallowed another 2 panadol and slept. Yes slept. But in between the sleep, there's a minor break for gossips from my very salah gf. hehe And slept back again. So, in total I slept for 13 hours from 5 pm on Thursday evening till 6am. I am so SINFUL. I tried to force myself to wake up earlier the next day cos I'm having my said short case end-posting on this fateful Friday by the Dr-who-I-wanted-to-avoid-badly, Dr.Gauri (just my luck) and study whatever my gut feelings told me to study.

Instead, I woke up at 6am to cook Maggi curry cos I was damn hungryand was dreaming bout it probably from 10pm onwards. Who cooks maggi at 6am in the morning? huhuh. On the empty stomach, it doesn't taste nice at all. Huhuhuh I was drying my hair ala turban style and with my specs out to take water from the water dispenser this morning, so if anyone saw me at 6am at the corridor of girls' hostel, that was not a ghost of any kind.

Thank God, my end posting went quite well and headache has decreased *fingers crossed*

I dunno where and what went wrong. Only God knows and God will heal. Amen :)

...

I like the spontaneity; the last minute sleep over, the impulsive eating spree, the quota moments
I like how we can hangout and joke, without gossiping bout others
I like how you worry so much bout how I feel or dislike seeing me disappointed, when I cant watch Transformers though I said it was ok, you insisted on us watching it and we did (the 12.00am - midnight movie) even though you have night posting the next day (a very long day indeed).
I like how you try to fulfill my crave for starbucks even though you can't concentrate studying in Starbucks cos all you can think is shopping
I like our swimming time, where we can joke, laugh and hog the pool like rich tai-tais.
I like you spontaneous, outmost random comments. That shows how mysterious and imaginative your mind works.

Coming back from supper one day, 1.59 am, while driving into the campus
Leech: Eh, why the guard house so dark one? The lights are not on. The gate is wide open and guard no where to be seen.
Leeky: *spontaneously* Usually in horror movies, means all the guards die already *straight face*
Leech: o.O okaaayyyy... and then the 2 bimbos are killed soon after... *kwa kwa*

Thank you, my fren

Seed t-shirt which we both like and my new phone *cough cough*

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Sometimes when I am confused of my own feelings, when I am unable to stand up for myself, the person who I can turn for advice is you, my big sis! Though I dont always follow it cos I'm not that brave, but I am glad that I can always hear your opinion.
Deep down, I feel we have an unexplainable bond and I know that I can always turn to you when I'm in need of help and I hope I can also do the same for you.
Be it, the anger outburst you show when I am bullied or the boisterous laughter when I tell you a joke, your expressions and emotions are always 100% real and it never ceased to amuse me.
There are times when I feel that you are the big sis but other times, you can be such a little girl especially when you are hungry or tired. That makes you quite predictable I guess. :)
Meeting you in India is one of my many blessings. My first friend, first roommate, first pillar of strength, first advisor, housemate, neighbour and kaki clubbing hehe Oh! and also hairdresser *she cuts my fringe in India* hehe
We (me, you, Leek's) gotta be the most chirpy girls in the entire class, when it comes to a "certain" friend of ours.

Thanks for being my fren

Christmas party in Manipal, 2007

After Barcelona, tipsy but otherwise ok. :)

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Encik Sashi, regarding my supposedly "racist" jokes, you know I'm only joking rite? *not* LOL!
Your sensible advice, the ever realistic macha! has been loads of help, your responsibleness keeps our house in Manipal in order, your looks and stare kept me and Alicia save from strangers ^^ and also for carrying my 19283746584kg bag up Gunung Ledang while I can take my own sweet time to climb and somemore dare to asked you to walk faster hehe, and for supporting and encouraging me as always! I am forever grateful! hehe

Nearly died in Gunung Ledang. Hands and legs were wobbly but look at my friend with 2 bags walking beside. HAHA awww.!

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Then there's this friend, a friend who trust me even though we do not always hang out now but I want her (Gayathri) to know that her actions and words do make a difference.
There's once when I borrowed her car when she went back home to Penang, and the other guys messaged her, lied to her that I crashed her car. She did not call or message me right away to question me. Instead, I found out from the guys what they did and messaged her that her car is safe. She replied by saying she knows they are lying and didnt bother bout them. At that moment I was pissed at the guys cos this type of incident is not a joke. But I am glad to know the level of trust that she has on me and of course, there's also my role to play as a responsible driver.

In the bathtub at A Famosa during Alicia's bday party

Someone told me that hanging out with friends should be effortless... She, Chandan, Dinesh and Baveen are fine example of those kind of friends. ^^
Same goes to the saying that, people will forget what you said, what you did but will never forget how you made them feel.

Langkawi 03/09

Batman wannabe and cigar-smoking mafia in Langkawi

Ju-on haunting sleeping beauty, Bav.!
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There's also this particular friend who can make me laugh with his antics. His funny -sharp-gravity-defying hair hair and his muka red-tomato especially after drinking only one cup of beer, are ever entertaining. Over the years, I am proud that his alcohol tolerance has increase significantly. Now, he knows what happened the whole night without falling asleep after a drink. LOL!
He is one friend who need no words to understand what has happen. I know he is a silent friend who will be there when I need help, macam baja hitam. HAHA! Not to mention, he is one of my silent readers haha *Nah. take that ;P*
I remember when I lost my camera the second time, during North India trip and was damn sad, he loaned me his camera. I was really touched cos I jus lost mine and am sad and angry over my carelessness. Though his reason was weird, *he said since I lost my camera, I will definitely take extra precautions and extra care over his camera. Cheh* but that's his way I guess. hehe

He has tendency to recommend food with much enthusiasm but takut others will say it's overrated. hohoho

His comrades are also not to be forgotten. 3 musketeers as i call them *slumdog millionaire?* never fail to laugh at my lame jokes. Yes, muka maintain but spread my jokes to everyone and occasionally ask me to perform in front of others. -_-" I dunno how much of a friend I am to them *hard to keep up u know. hehe* but I definitely regard them as friend. I might not be there for them when in trouble * respective girlfriends duty :) * but at least happie times can be share rite? ^^

mr.muka maintain no 1. subclinical parkisonism *jk jk*
he does laugh *chuckles*

Budak kecik who always call me fei-mui. Sheesh! but luckily i am ho-ngoi. *cantonese*

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My pseudo-brother. Since Manipal days, he has been taking care of me like a little sis. Though he make sme worry most of the time but he is someone who I can talk and joke albeit lots of craziness. Hehe
For someone who is 1/2 chinese (sino-kadazan), he is quite racist towards his own race and always making fun of my rabbit sign *he calls it the china-sign V^-^v*
He is never judgmental and always accommodating towards my demands. A friend who is just a phone call away. Thanks loads pseudo ;)

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There's also my A1 groupmates, people who are same postings with me for erm, 3 semesters. We have our disagreements but plenty of fun times too. hehe the after class tea time and watching the daily dramas by a "certain" someone. Glad to be in the same group with u guys =)

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I'm neither emo nor dying anytime soon btw. Jus in case you r thinking why the sudden post. ^.^
I was thinking why wait when I wanna express my gratitude to people whom I care?
and for the fact that I am skipping class tomorrow makes me happie too. haha
Typing this post brought back so much memories. :)

p.s: will update on this list soon. hehe. *updated*
p.p.s: not that i'm perasan but... you can send in your request for me to write bout you. Let me squeeze my head on what we both share together ^^

p.p.ps: gTLiers- our friendship is irreplaceable k. more like sisterhood man. missing the crazee bunch! do you hear me? hehe
mwah! *big fat juicy kiss*

missing members: emmie, cheryl, li yee and meikuen

For fun

Some random stuff that make me happie. I'll throw in some comments. ^^ Ripped it from facebook (: Shades of purple are my picks. Red highlights are comments I can't help not commenting about .. hehe *Disclaimer notes: These are purely my own thoughts. You are entitled to feel free to counter them or agree to it. =P* 1. Falling in love. *one day* 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. esp when friends say the most random stuff at the weirdest moment, telling a joke in a matter-of-fact way, with a straight face but usually when I laugh, the abdomen hurts more than the face. Face just becomes numb. I admit that I laugh at nearly every joke *except sick perverted ones. absolute put off* but every laughing moments are sincere. =D Leeky wins the prestigious award of always making me laugh out loud. Habisla my image in the public. T.T *note to self: close mouth with hand when laughing, laughter should only last for 5 seconds and below 10 db.* 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the supermarket. 5. A special glance. tell me who wouldn't feel happy for a special glance from someone, like a crush? *twirls hair* 6. Getting mail. When I was in India, my family members and Shwus used to send me cards. I am really happie when I recieved those snail mails. The cards were placed at the wall beside the mirror, so that I can see them everyday before I go out. 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. with good scenery, bunch of friends and great music. a road trip! =) 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. dont have to be the latest song *cos radiostations tend to butcher it after repeating for umpteen times* but more like, the right song for the mood at the unexpected moment. 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. lying on bed is a good idea although i can't guarantee that i'll be awake, listening to the rain. harharhar 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. 11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry). 12. A bubble bath. reliving the childhood days. hehe.When I was 8y/o, I used to make my own "swimming pool" cos my house dont have a bath tub, by stuffing the drainage holes on the shower floor with plastic bag and using a pail filled with water for weights on the plastic bags. Then, I'll filled the shower area (the common square area with 5 cm high divider) with water. 13. Giggling. esp while gossiping about someone you dont like *bitchy mode* 14. A good conversation. anytime, be it, general issues, general knowledge, dreams, future plans, random issues 15 The beach I LOVE the beach, sea, sea creatures. I once slept on the hammock by the beach, under a canopy of trees with layers of sunblock for 3 hours and ended up, tanned, like a freaking Indonesian maid. Sigh. but i still love the beach. =) 16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter. 17. Laughing at yourself. especially after embarassing myself. all the time. hahaha 18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you 19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours. This used to happen in Manipal when the intercom between hostel rooms was free. Alicia used to kick me out of the room cos I disturbed her sleep by laughing so loud. I had to talk in the halfway with a freaking long telephone connection wire. hehe no thanks to steven tan. then he goes scaring me with his cerita hantu. 20. Running through sprinklers. *acting movie meh?* 21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. *siao* 22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. I like. come, tell me more often. LOL! *unsincere comments will result in YOU getting an unscratchable, unreachable itch like at the spine area, middle ear etc* 23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS LOL! girls will be girls. =) enough said. 25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. this gesture will last me the whole day or through tough times. awwww! 26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. Ultimate satisfaction! *nods head profusely* 27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). 28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones. spending time with old friends is good but making new friends can be tiring and scary especially making a good first impression, creating conversation, afraid of being judged, afraid of looking stupid etc. Sometimes, we humans are too comfortable in our own zone. hehe 29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten. *playin is one thing. commitment is another. i absolutely detest people who act all lovey dovey with puppies or kittens but not towards the grown-up version* 30. Having someone play with your hair. 31. Sweet dreams. I was once told that we dream because we want it to happen in the real life leading to subconsciously picturing the event in our sleep. Dunno how true is the story but I am sometimes like that. which leads to No.17. 32. Hot chocolate. yummy!! escpecially Cadbury! I am easily bribe. *shameless* 33. Road trips with friends. no. 7! 34. Swinging on swings. 35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger. 36. Making chocolate chip cookies. *only in the toilet* wah. so crude. hehe 37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies. *evil friends who want me to gain weight* 38 Holding hands with someone you care about. * i cant hold hands cos i have sweaty palms. the day when someone is willing to hold my hand is the day I meet my soulmate. wtf. hahahaha* 39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change. 40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 41. Watching the sunrise. Though i prefer sunset. The colours of the clouds during sunset can be mind-blowing at times! 42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. *should be. but knowing a long day ahead can be depressing tho* 43. Knowing that somebody misses you. I know for sure my family misses me a lot. *big teary eyes* 44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply. A hug is very therapeautic, be it being a giver or recipient. 45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think. then only I'll know who will trust me and stand by me. ^^ A note from Cindy Lim Natural Highs Please make sure you forward this back to me . . . You'll see why at the end. Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially #45. 1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the supermarket. 5. A special glance. 6. Getting mail. 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. 11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry). 12. A bubble bath. 13. Giggling. 14. A good conversation. 15 The beach 16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter. 17. Laughing at yourself. 18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you 19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours. 20. Running through sprinklers. 21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. 22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. 23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS 25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. 26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. 27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). 28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones. 29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten. 30. Having someone play with your hair. 31. Sweet dreams. 32. Hot chocolate. 33. Road trips with friends. 34. Swinging on swings. 35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger. 36. Making chocolate chip cookies. 37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies. 38 Holding hands with someone you care about. 39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change. 40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 41. Watching the sunrise. 42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. 43. Knowing that somebody misses you. 44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply. 45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think. Pass on These Natural Highs to at Least 7 People in the Next Half Hour and Something Fantastic Will Happen to You in the Next Few Hours. Be sure to send it back to the person who sent it to you! Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth

<3 talk

Something, or rather someone has been lingering in my head for the longest time...
All the what ifs, and what nots..
Knowing that there's no possibility, why does the heart (with all the wrong feelings) torturing the mind which affects the soul?
Such a sad state to be in.

But fret not, *convincing myself* I will sleep it off! and wake up to a new day with a huge grin on my face *probably not. more like a huge sigh.. haihhh* and waits patiently :)

Thank God, there's a place like home: a place to escape

Damn emo sial. must be the hot weather.

you know what?

It's so hard telling people this. Harder to make them understand.

Sometimes when I smile, I am actually saving whatever dignity I have..

Why are people so judgmental and critical towards me? ... are really beyond my understanding..
Do you really know me, to even pass me those comments? What rights do you have for making me a joke for your own sadistic purpose? How dare you pass comments without thinking of my feelings?

There's difference between friendly jokes and pull-you-down-to-make-me-happy kind of jokes.

Is it because I am too nice, too soft, easily bullied or I have the tidak-apa-attitude?

In those situations, what am I supposed to do when my feelings are compromised? Be it publicly humiliated or privately confronted.
...Laugh it off, as usual and havin the cycles repeat?
...Confront, saying, "I dont like it", but afraid of sounding too harsh
... or easiest way, act blur and ignore those comments.

I know the comments are true. but whatever reason, you have no rights in making me feel this way.
Partially my fault for not standing up for myself. Sigh.
But like I said, if the comments are true, how do one defend oneself?
Double sigh.
It's personal attack k.. huhuh. and I am hurt.





p.s: jus to be fair, I know I make fun of others also but my jokes are in general. Never personal attack. and of course I know the other person well enough to make fun of.
p.p.s: think of happy thoughts. happie thots. :)
p.p.p.s: feels better now. don need sympathy. just venting out. mwah!