On impulse(s)

Today,
I had so much fun,
jumping into the pool,
with Leeky,
after a long hour of sweating it out from playing squash!
HAHAH
*we cheated a bit cos we were wearing swimming suit la*

BUT

this wasnt the first time

The first time was purely on impulse, when everyone was busy stressing out, we were playing squash *library was too hypoxic k*
And after the game, the entire sports complex was so empty and it was about 8.45 pm.
AND, the pool looked so serene and calm and we were sweaty and hot. HAHA

So, we took out our shirt, shoes and socks and jumped in. La la la la.. of cos we were wearing proper bra. *blush*

Then the guard have to go and switch on the lights. hahah made us hide at the corner of the pool
Anak sungai style wei~
^^
***
Less then 5 minutes in the pool last nite,
we made the final decision to visit Batu Pahat (Leeky's hometown), after a day of dilly-dallying.
We wanted to go there for the famous crab dishes by the jetty. Unfortunately we left late and reached there bout only 12 am, just in time to see the restaurant close. :)

Nevertheless, the view by the jetty, where we had to walk on cemented stilts on the sea (bout 100ms) was breathtaking. What I like the most was the lighthouse view across the sea. So calming~
We had to walked pass peoples' houses to the seaside. Kinda remind me off Pulau Ketam in Klang. So traditional lifestyle. ^^

Then it had to rain. Huge fat ass droplets, torrential rain I have to say. Hungry and cold, we stopped at another restaurant to fill our stomachs.

Sadly, we missed Leeky's parents' who went to JB that nite. We managed to visit her sister's new cafe though. Very nice ambience with edgy furniture.

I reached hostel bout 3am. As usual, if we arrived late, we have to fill in the book before entering the hostel door. I was thinking what reason to write? *some of my previous reasons was supper = clubbing, supper = drinking session, study = supper* For last nite, I simply wrote, went back to hometown. Not mine but nevertheless. (:

In the end, it was quite fun. Tired, but I would like to visit the small little bustling town again someday. (:
Thanks Leeks and Jeremy for the late night road trip :)

Rant

I wanted to let it all out.
The thoughts are killing me.
So, I decided to signed into FB, to rant out my thoughts.
Instead, I am greeted with so many happy shoutouts *i am happy that they are confident that they'll pass* and people who are already posting up the cases that are out today. But seriously, is it necessary? We went through fair and square ok?

I guess life IS unfair.

... I immediately exed the page off, and ended up here.

First and foremost, while we were quarantined in the room, awaiting our turns for long cases, some jackasses or smart alecks decided to SPECULATE or DECODE the allocated numbers that we had. Initially, I was ignoring them, got so pissed when they expected everyone (20 +) in the room to take part in their little session because their "brains" were satured and they can't study. To the point where they were so confident, I was shaken too. Scared to my core cos apparently I am supposed to get Paedatrics case. This particular "her" had the guts to walk around, happily proclaiming that she's glad that she managed to get O & G cases because it was either my allocated number or hers, will get either Ped 0r O&G and she have to let everyone know what's on her freaking mind. I am pissed. Cos we all are there for our exams, not to hear you freaking whine. Best part is others actually entertain her. Anyways, so, like I said, I got influenced and studied on Pediatrics for the last one hour and when the invigilator came to get me, he told me my case is an O & G case. Well, not that I am complaining at that moment cos I was aiming for O&G case.

Saying this, another friend was also expecting an ortho case cos of their conclusion but she had Peds case which was equally tough as mine. ):

Then hell began. As the invigilator was leading me to obstetrics ward, the corresponding medical officer said the fourth case is at the gynaecology ward. I was thinking, " i hope it's fibriods or ovarian cyst". Sigh. I guess it's just not my day. My patient has a freaking long history of carcinoma of cervix, had TAH BSO done last year, presented with ascites, had radiotherapy + chemotherapy done and left lower limb swelling. To her credit, my patient was cooperative * i was thinking after the exam, the person who wanted badly to get an o&g case should have this case cos this patient only speaks in MANDARIN* but she has shortness of breath, abdomen discomfort and forgotten details about her own condition. I had to clerk a freaking long history with only 15 minutes for examination of the abdomen and just my luck, when the examiners came, they were Dr. Sameera and Dr. Yang (surgical consultant). I knew I was dead.

He freaking expected me to examine the left lower limb swelling as a proper examination plus I had to do abdomen examination proper and other systems as well, since she presented with ascites.

He also asked a whole bunch of surgical questions and I didnt have time to answer any O&G questions. Not that I know also, cos wasnt expecting ca cervix.


Now I really know why people created the word, "F*CK". It's for such situations..

Sighhh..


Stress kao kao.

Monosaturated

I am suffocating.. can I go somewhere till the exam is over?
Feel so inadequate, unequipped for the exam, in spite of facing the books for hours a day.
AND
The thought of repeating the course, shit, damn stress k..
I know everyone handles stress differently and mine, happens to be the "avoiding/escaping-from-reality" one. -.-"

God save me. And the rest of the batch who is going for battle on Thursday onwards. Amen

My ambitions

In between studying time, I managed to slot myself some daydreaming privileges *hence the lack of productiveness* about my childhood ambitions and the ones that still hold true..

When I was a pre-schooler, I wanted to be a cook/chef.

Everytime before my kindergarten teacher starts to cook, she uses a stovelighter in the shape of a gun to start the fire on the stove. I was in awed.. I made it a resolution to get the gun thingamajig at that time. Before you start to think, "Why Leech's kindergarten damn ganas one? Showing children all this fire thingy and stove?", the mini kitchen was situated at a gangway where we usually just walk passed the stoves to my class. The teacher probably didnt know but my eyes were preying the stovelighters like a hawk on a chick *mwhaha* Finally, one day, while "passing by", me and my 2 other friends stopped by for a minute and started to play with the stovelighters while nobody else was around. I was damn inspired ok. *now, it does sound like I am a bit jakun* Needless to say, our class teacher caught us playing with it and we were punished to sit by the swimming pool while watching other classmates swim. The teachers also made it a rule to keep all stovelighters out of sight. Coming back to why I wanted to be a chef. I guessed at that time, the only way to play with the stovelighter is to be a chef! ta-daaa!


Then proceeding to standard 1, nearly everyone wants to be a school teacher *dont bluff k. i know you want to!* including myself. My reason is because I like to correct other students exercise books with red pen, especially huge X /pangkah/salah or 0 / telur. HAHA

There's also normal other stuffs like:-
>>astronaut .. to a primary school kid, space traveling seems easy and fun

>> prime minister (can advocate for more school holidays)

>> doctor (never thought that I would really end up studying medicine).. during standard 3, I vividly remember how me and my other friends used an eraser and tied it to a pencil, acting as a knee hammer and pencil on another eraser (acting as the fulcrum) as an electrocardiogram. So creative rite? and I mentioned before how by arriving at the clinic and seeing the doctor, the sickness will mysteriously disappear.. (:

>> ambassador in a foreign country cos they can travel and stay overseas while getting paid!

Then secondary school phase, there's:-
>> kindergarten teacher cos at one point I like kids a lot especially when they say the darnest things but as years passed, the thought of cleaning poop and urine doesn't seem so interesting anymore. This also affect my initial interest in Pediatrics. Some say I have talent with kids but trust me, it take loads of work. Try entertaining a bunch of cousins who are way younger than me. The boys: I have to play hide n seek, war games, tell jokes, play cars & accidents and imaginary friends etc and the girls: have to answer 1001 questions about anything, play princess, read story books. Whoaaa.. the patience man..

>> globe trekker .. i had seriously thought of just dumping everything and travel around the world but in an Asian society and being the eldest in the family, this dream remains just a dream but I will one day travel the world. *insert olympic music* but this dream is not really a dream cos if I successfully graduate as a doctor, I have looong to join Doctors without Borders or maybe begin with home, Mercy Malaysia. With that, I get to travel and help people. ^^ I do know the risks and heartaches involved, not mere fantasising k.

>> veterinarian, cos other than kids, I also like animals *not that I equate them. hahah * I think this idea was greatly influenced by my grandma's friend who is a SPCA committee member and have 11 dogs. She always tell me bout her experience in spca. I volunteered once at SPCA with my bestie, Emmie. Initially, our chores were just playing with the puppies and bathe them. Then the higher authorities made us wash the kennels. Both of us have to transfer one dog to another kennel, wash it and then return the dog back and repeat the process a billion times. The "uncute" dogs pooped and peed in the kennels right after we cleaned it. Urggh.! Not easy k, their shit were everywhere plus the smeeellll. Fuyorh! but.. Can't blame them cos they were cold. When my dad picked both of us up, he said we smell like dogs ourselves. Sheessh. What happen to this dream? apparently, they only look cool in TVs. Hmm.. but I bet life will be easier and more satisfaction.... cos veterinarians dont wash kennels la.. oh well.. and veterinarians need to study bout every single animal systems I presumed and doctor only need to study bout human? hmm..

Currently, dreams that I still hold on to:-
>>open a bakery/cafe .... I just love the smell of freshly baked bread and also freshly brewed coffee. If I have a cafe, the theme will either be "Angel": ornaments of anything related to angels, with white fluffy cushions OR the cafe will have different sets of furnitures for every table to cater different groups. Wah. really dreaming hey? hehe

>> as I've mentioned, travel the world while helping people. Sounds cheesy but might as well use my expertise rite? but

>> rich man's wife. a tai-tai. datin. HAHAHAH not mistress k. or inherit a huge fortune from a long lost emperor of China, thank you very much.

dreams will remain as dreams.. without moolah.. reality bites man...

all this i guess can only happen when I am able to make my family comfortable with their lives :)

wht's your deepest dream and ambition hey?

RRrr!

Need-to-hide-the-laptop-in-a-far-away-hard-to-reach-secluded-secret-place-where-i-can't-get-it-cos-I-am-addicted-to-the-net-h-e-l-p-m-e-cos-I-will-be-the-one-who-keeps-it-and-bring-it-out-in-the-end-such-weak-willpower-I-have

/cries/emo/bangs head

this-is-a-public-distress-call. hu-hu-hu