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My birthday (21/12/08, Sunday)

Photos are up on Facebook but I wanna blog bout my thoughts and feelings bout it.
To me, honestly, this year birthday is more meaningful than any other year *probably cos it's the clearest? hehe*.

Let me begin with the week leading to my b'day.
The week before was really stressful. I had my night postings where I need to spend 4 full days in Muar (except Tuesday, lecture classes in campus) and sleepover for 2 nites in the hostel provided.The schedule was:-

8am-12pm In the wards, clerk case, awaits arrival of teacher, bedside teaching. (11 members)
2pm-4pm Wardwork: supposed to go to the wards and find things to do (only 5 who are doing nite postings stayed back)
6pm-11pm Night posting in Accident & Emergency unit

Muar is about 45 minutes (by car), 1 hour (by bus) from Melaka town. Travelling is not fun.

I have no problem staying over doing my night postings, no problem staying alone in a double bed room, if not for the other stresses.

Firstly, 4 topics of surgery for VIVA ( a one-on-one Q&A session with the lecturer) for my group was postponed to the following week (means 4 topics for the next week plus this week's 4 topics plus question regarding nght postings) due to unforeseen circumstances. Fine. Can study later on, so I thought.

Secondly, the same week, on Saturday is exam for another 9 topics for surgery. Structure of questions is unknown. Wanted to study so badly but by the end of night postings and washing up, roughly 12am, I read few lines and started feeling real sleepy. Thought I could study on the bed *bad idea, as usual* but ended up sleeping and waking up a 3am to off the freaking lights.

Thirdly, my family was supposed to come down on the weekends to see me perform in church choir in conjunction with Christmas celebration but sadly, my grandma had Chikungunya and was hospitalized. It really breaks my heart to hear that my grandma was unable to eat, feeling lethargic and malaise and was finally hospitalized. I can only assure my family that she'll be alright with the IV drips and supportive treatment.

Fourthly, my very "considerate" "fren" had to remind me that she is attending a Xmas party organised by another fren by asking me what I'm buying for the gift exchange programme, although she darn knows that I have night postings, which means I'm staying over in Muar. She continued to have the chit to say that I'm gonna miss out on a lot of fun. Bloody hell. Tell me, how to answer her back?? I just smiled and swallowed my anger.

Fifth, for the minor operations on Thursday morning, I had to enquire bout the location, talked to the staff nurse bout the number of students allowed, placed to change etc but not appreciated as usual. Group leaders are the worse job ever. Name only sounds nice but in fact doing all the donkey job and when problem arises, all fingers pointed to the group leader or when dissatisfaction arises, group leader only gets the shit. Seriously, I do not have the patience to be a group leader. I am definitely a person who cannot tolerate peoples shit. I can have outburst of anger if it wasn't for the breathing technique (count 1-10) hahaha. That's an entire topic altogether. SO, 11 of us went to the OT at 9am, got ready, enthusiastically waited for the MO to arrive to perform the procedures, be it, rubber banding for patients with hemorrhoids/piles or colonoscopy or excision of breast lump but we "patiently" waited till 11.15am, only it started. Being the group leader, I naturally let the others go before me, so that everyone gets their chance to watch exciting procedures and when it was my turn, being the last, about 12pm, I was darn tired, hungry, angry and my case have to be a 8years old boy here for excision of lump on the forehead. He was crying, wailing and moving all his limbs in resistance. It only delays the procedure further and by the end of the procedure, the lump was fat tissue measuring less than 1cm but looks big due to his underlying bony structure on the forehead. I felt like screaming on top of my lungs but then again, I took a deep breath and convinced myself that it's OKKkk! I'll have my chance the next time *sigh, so sad*

Sixth, no interesting cases to see in A&E department. All the hoo-haa about it being the most exciting department is only a myth. Hahah. I guess it's bout luck to see interesting cases. Furthermore, no case should be a good sign of people being less involved in accidents or sick. Then again, sigh, 4 days spent seeing cases like fever, dislocation of elbow, more fever cases, fracture of femur, fall, giddiness etc. And on the last day of my posting, those who were from other posting was given the chance to perform ECG on patients when they do not even know how to do it. Arggh! I guess it's partially my fault not being thick-skinned to ask to do it cos I didn't know we can do that.! The frustrations. It happened before when another girl tricked the staff nurse to let her perform ECG on patient without knowing anything. Arggh! But then again, those are people who can go far.. SIGGGH!

Dramatic? yes and I also tend to attract dramatic/emo people.

Nevertheless, I told myself on Friday nite that after all this shit, it will definitely be fine on the weekends. X)
True to it, grandma is all well again in time for family to come down on my birthday..
And my best friend, Lester managed to organised a dinner party for me. Those attended are indeed my closer friends in Malacca. And those who did not attend, though invited, made the effort to meet up later.
Though it's a smaller group compared to the previous parties I had, but I am very contented having closer friends, enjoying each other company, chatting and laughing at lame jokes. I hope it's not a sign of increasing in age. Hehe.
After dinner, we adjourned to Dinesh's house for a round of drink. Jack Daniels is so much better than tequila *stares at Andrew*
Party ended bout 3am, slept over (cos curfew is from 1am-5am) and went back to hostel bout 7.30am, just enough of time to get ready for Sunday service. Hehe

Then the family came down after church service and took them to eat dimsum, do touristy stuff and went shopping as my birthday gift? haha but i shopped every weekend.. hmm.. anyways, after that, we went for dinner and a drink at Geographer's. I am not a alcoholic k, as insisted by most of my drunkard friends. hehe

It's been 3 years since I celebrated my birthday with my family. This time the feeling is special, cos my brothers have grown up (more mature to a certain extent though still very lame) and parents are more liberal. We can joke bout anything be it, dirty jokes or very lame jokes (Lame jokes are a bit of problem. Mom will laugh at it but we, the siblings, know that she laughed for a different reason and dad will only laugh 10minutes later when he get the question? by that time, we'll have to explain the answer ) I know they love me very much, even though at times I act as though I'm the youngest in the family (i call my younger bro as Kor) or for accepting Christ (not that it's a crime but it's not an easy thing for the parent) and I get the best of everything.. *tears*

I received wishes and smses from friends who I've not seen for quite sometime or from people who I did not expect to remember. Closest friends and bestie from Australia also sent their love ^-^. Seriously, it's the thoughts that count...
Unlike someone I know, who I organised her birthday party, did not even bother to say anything. @$%&*% Watever la k?! *yes, the same insensitive person who asked bout d xmas party and who i blogged earlier as friends? maybe not*
I hate to have this grudge on her, which made me more judgemental of her. I also wish to get on with life and just let her be. I really dont know why she affects me so much. Maybe I want to give her a piece of my mind but i'm just too lazy. *whatever hand motion* I wish her all the best in life. I'm moving on. And i have better friends who really care and worth my time.

Another event that made me happy was my church members who took the initiative a week earlier to arrange a date for my birthday celebration though i had to postponed it twice and they were willing to accommodate to my timing. Aww.. X)

Arigato, thank you, once again. You guys know who you are. =)




p.s: This does not mean that those who didnt wish me, celebrate with me or give anything is less than a friend. You get what i mean rite? I'm not being calculative whatsoever. It's just how all these made me feel.. ^-^ I AM entitled to how i feel rite?