Some love pls?

Nothin I say or do can bring justice to my actions. I know I'm wrong but we all have our drunk moments, do we?

I hate the feeling of not remembering anything
Hate the consequences that follow (try vomiting 10x and bile juice for a change)
Hate being unduly judged
Hate hurting others with my actions

Sigh.
I wanna defend myself but only can admit defeat
I've learned my lessons but why do I feel more like a victim than a perpetrator?
I've so much to say, so much emotions inside but no one to share it

I just wanna go home soon. To my family who loves me no matter what happens, who will support me though i did wrong, for they trust my character and trust that I will change for a better. They are more concern of my well being than themselves. I guess that's unconditional love.

Today, I felt lonely.

I'm glad that I was able to talk to the family while they were having dinner. Bro said dad is waiting for me to go home for Korean food. Mum asked me to get a pair of shoes for my hiking trip..

.... sigh, tonight will be another teary night.