1st week of March

Oh, wow! I have a confession to make.
Last Saturday was the worse public outburst I had in years.

I had a bad week. I've been sick for 5 days and on porridge diet just to fill my stomach for medication. Thursday was the only day where I attended proper full day class and my condition worsen in the evening and I had to see the doctor again. I saw a doctor on Tuesday night and was given a course of antibiotics which wasn't strong enough.

I had fever on and off, with chills, followed by profuse sweating, lethargy and the cycle repeats itself. Top it off with dry cough and running nose. Second doctor gave me a stronger course of antibiotics and gave the option of admitting into hospital. No way I'm gonna waste my time on bed any longer. Thankfully, I was fine for the weekend.

Saturday, family came down for bro's orientation. Had a fulfilling and happy outing day, acting tourisy :), ending it off with scrumptious seafood meal.


Went to Alicia's belated birthday dinner at bout 8.30pm after family had went back. Overall, party was fun but there were few people who ticked me off. Seriously, whatever happen in my life is my life. I do not need you to blabber about me. If I really wanted people to know, I'll tell it myself. It is afterall, story bout me. Yeah. I got close with a guy and everyone saw. So? I was happy, if you want to know. I don't mind the friendly teasing *yes, talking bout some of you ^^* but some people really get on my nerves. If you regard yourself as my friend, at least have the decency to talk properly about me. If not, buzz off. I do not need you to publish about my life online. I can do it myself. Stop being a jealous sport. Bluek. Urrgh. How I wish I have to courage to say it to that person personally.

I really wanted to go home bout 12.30am but decided to stay longer as wished by the birthday girl (: Then, again wanted to go home at 2.00 am and again at 3am but there were factors stopping me *my own free will to stay back, dont get me wrong and I know friends who really enjoy my company - self-praised* And sometimes, I dunno why there must be a point in the any party for me to prove that I've been drinking. People refused to believe that I've drank a lot just because I've been standing straight and behaved properly. Trust me. I drank enough for a person who has yet to recover fully. Finally, when I decided to leave *i do have church in the morning* , again there were factors stopping me. I just... exploded, "Why can't I freaking make my own decision to leave? and some other stuff". Sounded like a primadonna rite? hahaha. And I can hear myself fuming in anger. Urggh.

The worse part was, I wasn't even high, forget bout drunk and am fully aware of what is happening. HAHAHA The utter embarassment.

Ok. My point is, it wasn't my intention to throw tantrums but I guess there were several factors that lead to the outburst. Sigh. I've said my apologies to the relevant parties or rather innocent victims who had to endure my screams.

In the end, after telling my closest friends, they are the one who truly understand me without me explaining why I did what I did although it was wrong.

I take it to my onus to confess cos I really felt bad for expressing my frustrations on random people.


Lessons to be learn:
- next time leave quietly. report once reach home safely.
- alcohol might cure what ever sickness you have but it definitely worsen coughs.
- anger once released, cannot be retracted.
- some people will remain unimportant in one's life. let them remain that way.

Happier moments

xoxo