Repeat 10000x: think of happy thoughts only!

first encounter

Big girls DO cry.
Usually it happens if it's a sad movie or sad event, or plain helplessness and today, fear. Tear just came spontaneously .. seeing stuff that breaks the heart...
Arghhhh I cant exactly pinpoint the sadness. A part of me knew this would happen. A part of me blame myself for letting this happen . A part of me says, "Eventually, you will meet someone too, a partner or someone new in your life.. who takes initiative to be in your life and puts you on the TOP of priority list." A part of me says I should really start thinking about the future. A part of me is angry at myself for being complacent with life.

I know. I really know that dynamics changes. I can feel it. The change is inevitable. Im scared. 
Nobody says it's going to be easy.


I know I shouldnt depend on a single person but i was happy the most.  I repeatedly tell myself, "As long as the other person is happy, Im fine. Stop being selfish and insecure."


This pretty sums up today's sadness outburts: Someone might mean the world to you, but you might not mean the world to the someone..


*snap, snap* *wipe tears. sniff sniff*

Repeat 1000x: bring your heart out to treat others sincerely.

have faith.